a strange combination of feelings that mixed up

udah lama banget gak nulis, sampe lupa gw punya account disini. parah juga dah.haha.

ntah kenapa, hari ini dimulai dengan seribu kemurungan. dari yang inget sesuatu yang SANGAT buruk lah. yang pengen ber mellow-mellow ria lah. sampe prasaan buruk juga ada. kenapa yah? padahal kmaren baik2 saja gitu ( malah seneng banget, ktemu temen2 lama + dapet sesuatu yg gw pgn *loh?* ).

sungguh hari yang aneh. hhh..

biarkan saya menceritakan * halah* apa yang terjadi kemarin.

jadi kronologisnya begini. pagi-pagi saya disibukkan oleh hal yang harusnya gw lakukan lebih pagi. *bilang aja telat bangun --a* dan dilanjutkan oleh acara telatnya saya jalan ke sentra mulia buat ielts prep. ternyata gurunya pun tidak datang se tepat waktu gw, jadi melangkahlah si christo dengan gembira ke ruangan kelas.

pas breaktime 1 jam, secara ganas gw menyantap roti bakar + nasi goreng*yang tadinya gw pikir itu porsi 2 org* hanya sekitar 20 menit. yang menghasilkan bereaksi akan keringnya dompet >.<

pulang dari sana, saat mau bayar ielts test, cc gw nelpon dan ternyata udah jemput di parkiran. padahal rencananya mau jalan langsung ke gi naik busway. ya sudah lah, dianterin sampe halte busway yang gak perlu transit2 lagi. hehe.

sampe di GI, banyak masalah yang menciptakan atmosfir takut tersesat. batre hp mo abis + pulsa tiris. untung masih tetep bisa ketemu sama marco fevia + tressi. wkwk. kalo gak gawat tuh, udah gw kayak anak ilang, kita pun gak jadi ketemuan.

yg di GI bisa diskip untuk lain kali. haha. pokoknya disana jalan enak + ngobrol2 walopun pulangnya gw malah membiarkan mereka nyasar (sori marco! gw lupa ngasih tau musti lurus dulu >.<)

tp kok hari ini.

something felt different.

badan gw menggeliat.

perut pun mulai mulas.

badan pun jatoh dari kasur.

dan...

*PRETT!* 

*lho salah ya..*

nggak sih. maksud gw tetep bangun2 itu ada feeling gak enak, mellow banget. kenapa baru hari ini?!?!? cape juga. haha.

5 bulan itu waktu yang sangat lama sih, gw akui. dan sekarang pun udah lewat 5 bulan. 

gw pun tau kenapa gw gak mau melupakan.

tapi kenapa gak bisa lupa2 juga? bingung sekali. am i really a loser? 

haha. sudah deh. tampaknya udah mulai hilang prasaan2 nya.

Now Playing - Kerispatih - Lupakan Aku

selama aku mencintaimu

takkan pernah ku berhenti melindungimu

mungkin caraku yang tak sempurna

slalu saja membuat dirimu gelisah

tak tahu mengapa

batin ini tak mampu lepas dari mu

maafkan aku

bila ku mengekangmu

lupakan aku

bila itu membuatmu

takkan terpuruk

oleh cinta dariku 

lupakan aku

meski cinta tlah terjalin

semakin dalam

dan membuat kita tak mampu berpisah

haha. sekian dulu. gw yakin yang baca pasti udah pada males duluan. *anyway i doubt if anyone would read this kind of silly blog. --a*

comfort zone? what is it? and what's outside of it? (Part2)

a few months after, the boy's grades were drastically down to a danger level.
he didnt even know that he was the worst student's group in his class..
he felt it's still a happiness due to "his 1 paradise", the one he called his girlfriend..

still, they contacted each other with happy voices and smiles on their face, with a little bit of problem with jealousy.

coincidently, they always met once a month even without it being planned.
it may be a little happiness for them, but for some reason the girl felt that it's insufficient to meet only once a month..

And 1 day, the girl asked the boy to transfer to her school. the boy couldnt do it because it's too far away from his house.
and they fought badly over this matter, until the boy had left with no alternative but to apologize.
the girl didn't accept it truthfully,instead,she hid it in her heart and acted as if nothing had happened..

and so did the boy,he hid his pain and agony in his heart. the pain that his grades goes down at the danger level, the pain that he lost his ability to socialize to others, the pain that he locked himself in his heart like a safety-box with multiple keys that only he knew what lies in it.And now, his memory flashed back to the day when
he planned to go with the girl to the mall.
he arrived first and waited for her in that mall, walking through each corners, passes each store, until he was nowhere to go .his heart was extremely empty and torn without reason.
when the girl arrived, he can hardly show his broken heart to her.
maybe the boy felt the start from all truth had came..

when the boy had 3 days out-of-school activities, his phone can't deliver any message. so he borrow his friend's,text her to tell that he was in school for activities .
Unfortunately he sent to a number that wasnt being used by her anymore, thus it wasn't delivered at all.

3 days after that, he called the girl, and she answered,'there's my parents, can you call me later?"and hang up the phone.
the boy called again that night and the result lead to the first part of this story,which ends with hurts and sorrow, and the start of her true happiness.

comfort zone? what is it? and what's outside of it? (Part1)

"I can't continue this relationship. I don't think I have any feeling left for you."

That was a last sentence from his girlfriend , and it has been a pain in his ears since then.
And now,he look back into 5 months ago, where everything starts.......

That day

"Do you love me?"

"Yes I do."she answered.

and on that night , this couple happily celebrates their anniversary..
Smiles were lurked on their faces as they were talking on the phone, and they could even imagine what kind of face they showed on that night;even only through the phone.

They reach their comfort zone. from that time onwards, the couple has been chatting all day, via sms and phone. They didn't realized,didn't care much bout their sleeping time. Their love for each other were too strong to be torn apart.

Sometimes they fight a bit. And Usually, the guy had to give up because she didn't want to admit her wrong. Like the others, there are always jealousy between each other for new couples. But it didn't last long.. Just a couple minute later, they will be fine..

Their parents were not accepting their relationship. But they insist , even if it had to be a backstreet relationship.. Especially the guy, who was against his parents frontally and it's usual to argue for this relationship.

He lives in a town same as the girl, but the region far apart. They met once a month..

As times passes by.. They were still keeping in touch with one another.
She didn't know what the guy had sacrificed to hold for that relationship. and that's what the boy want. he didn't want the girl to know he had argued much with his parents , sacrificed his study time and saving all his pocket money for phone bills.. They still in a happy condition.